An Unexpected Love Affair

by Benita A. Esposito, M.A.

This time it wasn’t a love affair with a man.

I was so consumed with developing a successful counseling practice in Atlanta that I had little time for anything else. I was a workaholic. A teacher came into my life who introduced me to the beauty of Nature, and he experienced a deep bond with the Earth that was foreign to me.  I wanted that special bond, too. The workaholism had a hold on me, and it was difficult to do anything besides work. I was stressed. But, every time I attended a weekend retreat with my teacher and my boyfriend, the love of the Earth became a little more anchored inside of me. 

My boyfriend and I began searching for the perfect land on which to build a home in the North Georgia mountains. We visualized the characteristics we wanted: Lots of nurturing trees. An open meadow. Rolling hills. Swift frothy water.  Powerful huge rocks and lots of acreage for privacy. Then we visited properties and refined our vision of the home we wanted to build.

One cool January day, we met our new friend, 90 acres of secluded undeveloped land. As I walked along the stream lined with rhododendrons, I knew within minutes this was it. My partner agreed. The rushing stream   gurgled with chatter and laughter. Grand old gnarly rhododendrons and mountain laurel designed their own natural park. Towering pines and strong hardwoods rolled across the hills. This was to be our private peaceful haven.

After a brief discussion, we agreed on the purchase of the land and my partner signed the contract. It was the first time I had been part of owning such a large piece of land that was so beautiful and majestic. I felt so close to the land.  It was mine, like a new kitten is mine – a new companion.

We spent hours walking the land and meditating along the stream.  I couldn’t get enough of its beauty and peace and frothy energy.  The trees became my beloved friends.  And the hills, rocks, flowers and bushes spoke to my heart in waves of tenderness. 

I was there when Spring awakened new life. Tiny wild orchids peeped up through the ground.  Soft pink blossoms of mountain laurel filled the air with fragrance. Dogwoods laced the forest with their delicate white snow. 

The land drew me back time and time again from my busy career in the city. I walked in quiet joy through the woods, and ran in laughter and freedom. 

One afternoon, while sitting on the side of a hill covered with tall, tall pines, I gazed down on my friend the stream. My first tears for the love of Nature rolled down by cheeks. I loved the Earth so much! My heart welled up so big with the feeling of appreciation that tears had to release what my heart could not hold. I was in love in a way I had never known before.

And then … it all changed. Three months after purchasing the land, my partner and I decided to move to Washington. I recall the night I stopped my busy schedule long enough to feel my emotions. I lay alone in my bed, and said good-bye to my lover, the Land. I hurt so much. My heart tore wide open with cries of aguish.  I loved the land, the trees, the earth, the stream, the flowers! How could I leave them? My heart and soul were so deeply touched by our love affair. This awakening in my heart was so precious to me!

That night seemed like an eternity of tears, holding my lover the Land in my heart and soul.  For so long I had been preoccupied with being busy and successful that I had denied ourselves, the Earth and me, this loving relationship.

    “I write to you, my friend ... the Land.

My love, my life, my teacher, my friend,

I will carry you with me always.

Thank you for awakening my heart.

Thank you for your unconditional love,

Your gentleness and purity.

I love you.”

Softly, a murmur replied,

"I love you, too, Benita."

About the Author: As a Licensed Professional Counselor, Life and Relationship Coach and ordained minister, Benita A. Esposito, MA combines a master’s degree in psychology and 3 decades of career wisdom with her intuitive ability to understand people at depth. She gets to the bottom line quickly so people can efficiently resolve challenges and move into their full potential. Benita facilitates people to develop and sustain flourishing personal and business relationships rooted in The Authentic Self.   

www.EspositoInstitute.com

Copyright 1989. All rights reserved. The Esposito Institute.