Love Heals
by Benita A. Esposito, MA
Thousands of people long for healthy loving relationships—singles and couples. Dr. Dean Ornish, a cardiologist who wrote Love and Survival, asserts that it is not just a whimsical wish. Loving relationships are vital to our health, longevity and our ability to recover from disease. In fact, he says that loving relationships have more healing impact than surgery, drugs, diet, exercise, or giving up cigarettes!
“People who survive a heart attack often describe it as a wake-up call. But for a 61-year-old executive I met recently, it was more than that. This man was in the midst of a divorce when he was stricken last spring, and he had fallen out of touch with friends and family members. The executive's doctor, unaware of the strife in his life, counseled him to change his diet, start exercising and quit smoking. He also prescribed drugs to lower cholesterol and blood pressure. It was sound advice, but in combing the medical literature, the patient discovered that he needed to do more.
“Studies suggested that his risk of dying within six months would be four times greater if he remained depressed and lonely. So he joined a support group and reordered his priorities, placing relationships at the top of the list instead of the bottom. His health has improved steadily since then, and so has his outlook on life. In fact he now describes his heart attack as the best thing that ever happened to him. ‘Yes, my arteries are more open,’ he says. ‘But even more important, I'm more open.’” (Dr. Dean Ornish, Newsweek, Oct. 3, 2005.)
Dr. Ornish continues, “Fortunately, love protects your heart in ways that we don't completely understand. In one study at Yale, men and women who felt the most loved and supported had substantially less blockage in their coronary arteries.
“Similarly, researchers from Case Western Reserve University studied almost 10,000 married men and found that those who answered "yes" to this simple question—"Does your wife show you her love?"—had significantly less angina (chest pain).
“And when researchers at Duke surveyed men and women with heart disease, those who were single and lacked confidants were three times as likely to have died after five years. In all three studies, the protective effects of love were independent of other risk factors.”
Dr. Ornish reports in Love and Survival, “Someone who is feeling isolated, depressed or lonely is metaphorically cutting themselves off from the source of energy of life or health, and that, in turn, can lead to illness.
“I don’t think there is something more fundamental than connectedness. To the extent to which people can make a shift out of isolation … it leads to healing. When our heart closes in fear--and our biggest human fear is of abandonment, that somebody won’t love us—it decreases that flow of life-force energy. It just doesn’t get to the cells and tissues in the same way, and we literally starve, because we’ve cut ourselves off from that larger life force.”
Tips
If you are happily married, I applaud you. Share your joy. We need more of you and your joy.
If your marriage is rocky, or if the zest has got up and gone, learn skills to transform your marriage.
If you have suffered with illness, you can improve your ability to recover when you join a support group. Make a commitment to improve the quality of your loving relationships.
If you are single and Mr. or Ms. Wonderful hasn't shown up yet, choose to create a beautiful loving relationship. Before you jump into romance, take time to learn about your relationship patterns. You may unknowingly sabotage yourself from attracting a healthy relationship, especially if you have suffered from dysfunctional relationships as an adult or when you were a child. Learn how to stop repeating old patterns.
If you have friends who want better loving relationships, accompany them to a free monthly workshop or join a support group. Sometimes people think that they should be able to handle their problems by themselves and they keep repeating the same mistakes. What can you do to make a difference in your friend’s life? Support your friend to set aside his or her pride. Come for the sheer joy of learning.
What’s the definition of insanity?
Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
Conclusion
Individuals, marriages, families and communities become stronger as we learn how to become more self-aware and build strong flourishing relationships.
* * * * *
Attend this month’s free public workshop on “Flourishing Relationships.”
“Love Heals: How to Develop Relationships that Promote Health.”
Tuesday, July 20. 7:15-9:00 p.m.
Curves of Blairsville
215-D Blue Ridge Street, Blairsville, GA 30512
Pre-registration preferred but not necessary
Email Benita@EspositoInstitute.com
Cell Phone 770.998.6642
Join the Heart S.M.A.R.T. Group for Women. For details, Click here.
Contact Information
Benita A. Esposito, MA.
The Esposito Institute, Inc.
http://www.EspositoInstitute.com
Cell phone: 770.998.6642
Email: Benita@EspositoInstitute.com
Relationship Coach for S.M.A.R.T. Women & the Men Who Love Them.
S.M.A.R.T. = Spiritual + Mature + Authentic + Responsible + Trustworthy
"I build bridges between people so they can meet each other in sacred spaces where they enjoy a quality of fulfillment they have never known before." ~ Benita A. Esposito, MA
Telephone coaching worldwide and in-person in Blairsville and Young Harris, Georgia, USA.
Subscribe to the free newsletter at http://www.EspositoInstitute.com
Copyright 2010. All rights reserved.
Permission granted to Towns County Herald, North Georgia Star, Clay County Progress and Towns County Sentinel to reprint article with contact information included.
10July10