New Years Day 2011

What will Create True Happiness for You in 2011?

By Benita A. Esposito, MA, LPC
 
I thought and thought about what to write for New Year 2011. I read some other people’s writings and reflected, “Those are so inspirational. I’ll send those.” But my inner voice prompted me to take the time to sit down and write from my heart and share with you. This morning the mood hit me, and now with beautiful music playing in the background and soft rain falling on the Earth, I am writing to you. I hope this inspires you to take some special time to reflect on what has been most meaningful to you in 2010, and to write about your dreams and goals for 2011.

In the past, I would start a coaching or counseling session by asking, “What do you want to accomplish in this meeting?” With the answer given, we’d zoom ahead to the next level of understanding. We’d examine self-defeating patterns and transform those to create the next major shift.

All of that is well and good, but something important was missing. That something was focusing on the “wins” since the last meeting. The life coach I’ve been working with since last summer asks me at the beginning of each session to share my wins. It’s made a profound difference for me. Instead of only focusing on what yet needs to be accomplished, I affirm myself for where I have been and what I am doing to accomplish my goals. My coach celebrates with me as a sincere cheerleader and focuses on my strengths. That feels really good. Now, I ask my clients to report their successes at the beginning of each meeting.

I hope you give yourself a gift today. Sit down with pen and paper, or your computer. List all your wins for 2010.  Then examine them. What are you most proud of? What touches your heart most deeply? What brings tears to your eyes? Happy tears. Sad tears. What would you do over again if you could?

The answers to these questions will help you become aware of your core values. Until you are aware of what is most meaningful to you, you won’t be able to create a truly flourishing life.

Here’s my story about how I struggled to be true to my core values, and how God and I created a truly flourishing life in 2010.

My top five core values are: beauty, health, helping people experience their full potential, emotional intimacy and spiritual intimacy.  

For most of my life I have been focused on helping my clients and developing my career. It’s wonderful to have chosen a career that I am so passionate about for 3 decades, and I am very grateful for that. However, several years ago, I realized there was something missing.  I was out of balance because I didn’t allow enough time to nurture another part of me: the part of me who feels a deep inner peace when I am surrounded by tree-covered mountains overlooking a lake. I experienced that in Bellingham, Washington for 3 glorious years, and when I moved back to Atlanta in 1994, I felt a big void.  I was busy helping people and I enjoyed that a lot because that is my spiritual calling, but my spirit kept beckoning me to live in the mountain lakes. I visited the north Georgia mountains frequently for years, but I was scared to move there because I didn’t know how I would be able to make enough money in a rural community.

After 11 years of yearning to live in that pristine paradise and not acting on it, I finally took the plunge. I realized that I would never have enough assurance that I would be able to create my desired income in the mountains. If I wanted to follow my bliss, I had to make a commitment to my dream. Then I would have to figure out the next step, one step at a time, over and over again. Until I was willing to make the commitment, nothing ever would be any different. My fear was not going to go away. So I decided to carry my fear with me, and talk to it in a compassionate way as if it were a scared child. I had to get very focused with my finances, and try to be as realistic as possible.  

I reminded myself that I had been learning how to consciously create my reality since 1985. By studying Robert Fritz’s, The Path of Least Resistance, I knew how to simultaneously look accurately at my current reality and be true to my ideal vision. I knew how to stay in effective action. In addition, I knew how to listen to my intuition, the voice of God within me. 

I prayed, I asked, I listened. I asked if it was God’s will for me to live in the mountains, and I thought the answer was “yes” so I proceeded.  I designed and built my house on a mountain, nestled in a hardwood forest, overlooking the lake and ripples of mountains.

I have lived here 4 years, and I am the happiest I have ever been. Sometimes I still don’t know where the money will come from. I have learned to live with my fear and to re-focus time and time again, and to ask for God’s guidance.

Taking risks to follow my bliss has taught me something new. Not only do I have an active part in creating the reality I choose, but I have experienced God supporting me in a whole new way. There were many times before this that I took risks and made my dreams come true. But now, I feel held in the arms of Love. I mean really held. I experience a deeper spiritual intimacy than I have ever known. When I look out over the mountains and the lake from my living room window, the natural beauty most profoundly connects me with God’s love, peace, joy and contentment.

God opened doors that I had no idea would open. I met an Episcopal priest named Father John Rice, the rector at Good Shepherd Church in Hayesville, North Carolina. That man has a heart of gold. He’s grounded in wisdom, exudes pure integrity and laughs with playful humor. John is rooted in the traditional church and yet at the same time understands and applauds who I am: an edgy pioneer who must explore the outer reaches of consciousness. I found a group of Christian edge walkers at Good Shepherd who share similar perspectives.

Last Spring God brought me to Dr. Cindy Libert, a medical doctor who invited me into her heart. I wished for 30 years to work in a holistic center, but I never dreamt of asking God to bring me together with a medical doctor. I would have felt intimidated by the thought of it. So many doctors seem arrogant, but Cindy isn’t that way. She is so emotionally available, so humble, so bright, and so passionate about holistic medicine. And she is so appreciative of who I am. She knew right away that God had brought us together, and asked me to provide coaching and counseling at her Life Wellness Center and Bookstore in Blairsville, Georgia. There’s 23 years difference between us, but I can’t imagine two people more simpatico. We are two peas in a pod.  We are so excited about working together. Excited about what we will create. Excited about what we will offer to uplift the community. Excited about nurturing each other and supporting each other to maintain proper self-care. We are aligned in our philosophy that God is the CEO of our businesses and that we are God’s willing servant leaders. Our relationship is one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced. God is truly blessing us and we sense the big plans ahead that are far beyond anything that we in our human minds can imagine.

It is this peace, this joy, this wonder, this love that fills my heart these days. I still don’t know how all the money will work out. I can’t know. But I trust that it will come as I put one foot in front of the other, daily asking for God’s guidance. I am more aware of the importance of healthy supportive God-centered relationships. It is making all the difference in my life.

Well, that’s the end of my story on this first day of 2011.  I hope it has given you some things to ponder as you ask, “What will it take to make me truly happy in the new year?” 

May God shower you with blessings that you didn’t even ask for, and that you couldn’t even imagine. May your heart be filled to overflowing, knowing that you are not alone, and that you are held in the most loving embrace you could ever imagine.
 

Copyright 2011. The Esposito Institute, Inc. All rights reserved.